missery

ok so i have completely failed at the whole blogging everyday thing. but i will work on it.

For today's Donut of Misery... pretty much says my life sucks and i am not even in the first steps of our deployment. oh well.

the past few days have been exciting. my baby went in the potty for the first time! yay! we went to a farm with a couple of friends and had a blast and yesterday we made cards for daddy! sounds like a big time right! oh well guess thats about as into it as i can because the kid demands attention

Reality Sucks!!

So now he is gone, again. Half of our marriage.. heck our relationship... he has been deployed. For once I wish he would just be home for more than 365 days. Well, I guess he didn't even really get that this time because he was only home for 364. We are HOPING when he comes home he will be able to get a job that keeps him home for a few minutes. The day was a very long and very emotional one. Watching Lorelei play with Allen really got me choked up. I don't know how she is going to react when he comes home and that scares me. I tried not to cry while he was around but I failed miserably.

I have a whole year until he returns. I have SO many things I want to change and do while he is gone. I want to lose weight(who doesn't.) I want to plan an amazing vacation for when he comes home. I want to change myself and become a better person. I want to get closer to God. There are so many things I want to do, let's see if I actually do them.

Here is the start to my 365 of photos. It is of Allen standing there waiting for his name to be called so he can put his bags on the truck.


Till tonight blogger world.

New

I realize I do not update this at all really and My "plan" is to do a 365 photo/blog project while Allen is deployed so he and everyone else knows how we are doing. Anyway just a small update

Things are fine here in the Lewis household. Allen and I have been working on our communication and I believe we have moved a million times forward. I am trying to not live everyday thinking about him leaving again. We figured out our main problem is that we didnt have a time between him coming home and then knowing he was leaving again to have that happy period. We went right into defence mode where all we did was fight. For anyone reading this who doesnt already know, MARRIAGE IS HARD!

Lorelei is amazing. She is the smartest, funniest, most energetic 15 month old I have ever met. Her smile fills up the room and when she laughs it hits you in your heart. I am amazed everyday(yes even on the bad ones) that Allen and I could make someone so perfect.

Monty has become a good dog. No tearing stuff up anymore anyway lol.

Anyway that is the update on our family as of right now

nothing new

so lorelei is getting so big! almost 3.5 mnths old. its amazing how much she has changed in just a few short months. i love her to pieces. already rolling over, smiling all the time, and trying to crawl. im gonna have my hands full with this kid!

allen only has a couple months before he is home again. i cant wait to have him home to have our little family back together again.

other than that nothing new is happening.

my baby is a month old!

i can not believe it has been a month already. the time is flying by like minutes instead of days. hopefully it will continue like this untill allen is home for good. i just can not believe it has been a month oh my. i wonder how long it will take till she is 16...! yikes. oh well. she will always be my baby girl

almost a month later

Its amazing how much I love Lorelei. I mean to wake up every morning and see he it just takes my breath away.

my little "birth story"

so not very exciting but I had a hard time with high blood pressure the last 6 weeks of my pregnancy so when I got to 38 weeks my midwife set up and appt for my to see a dr and he informed me we would be inducing me either that day or another day soon. after he started the appt and did my cervical check he informed me i have a "bad pelvis" and it didnt look good fo having a vaginal delivery. but labor and delivery was completely full that day so i would have to come back on sunday which was good for me because the whole time i had been pregnant i said i would have her on the 14th. well the 14th came and i called up at L&D at 6am to see if they were busy and if i would be able to be induced and they were empty so our little journey began. i got there at around 730-745 and did all the normal things.. got in my little gown sat in the bed got my IV and sat there for a good 10 minutes and my DR came in and checked me again to see if he was wrong about my pelvis. well he was still not happy about it i hadnt dialated at all and my pelvis has gone from "bad" to "crappy" so after talking it over with my mom, dr, several nurses, AND allen we went ahead and did a c section. i was shaking as we went into the OR and it was really pretty scary to see everything all white and blue. i have never had any type of surgery before actually ive never even been a patient in a hospital! well anyway after much frustration with trying to insert my spinal block we got it in and i layed there on the table.. feeling very exposed and shaking from being so cold. my mom comes in and that was a big hoopla because the nurse said to follow her and my mom was just as nervous as i was and the nurse didnt tell her anything after she said follow her and ended up getting yelled at to STOP by the dr and to not touch anything.. i felt so bad for my mom. anyway, we did the c section and all went well. i like to describe the feeling as someone using an old style egg beater(the kind with the crank) inside your stomach and when stuff is wrapped around it pulling it up to look at it. all went well though and my little bug was born. she was so beautiful i started to tear up when i got to see her. coming in at a whopping 7lbs 9oz and 20 inches long. she is truely the best thing i have ever done.

recovery sucked.. i couldnt get out of my bed untill the very end of the day and that was awful. i felt as if somone had well, gutted me. the nurses in the mother baby unit were next to no help and i was stuck with them for 2 days. blegh.

allen came home 6 days after she was born and i was feeling great by the time he got there so i went to nashville(with my mom) to get him from the airport. he got a sooner flight from atl so i didnt get the nice sappy greeting from the terminal. we got there as soon as he got to baggage claim and i had run in while my mom was out inthe car with lorelei to make sure he wasnt in there waiting on me. well i walked in and he was walking down the stairs. it was so wonderful to see him after 6 very long eventful months. he got in the car and the biggest smile came over his face when he saw his daughter for the first time. i saw his eyes tearing up but he wouldnt admit it. from the second he saw her he was in love. poor guy i know he is wrapped around her finger already.

holidays came and went pretty fast. allen's parent came down, along with his sister so we had a full house. after they left we just hung out and spent some family time and let him get to know his baby girl before he had to leave again.

he went back to afghanistan on thursday and we want him to come home. you can tell she wonders where he is. but we only have 4 more months (give or take a few days) left so i am hoping they fly by.

ok well i guess im going to try and get some more sleep. it is 530 and i have been awake and hour and a half.

untill next time

AH terrified

so it has been a long time since i have posted anything. i suck i know. so the house is coming together nicely and almost finished being decorated.

so in 34 hours i most likely will be at the hospital being induced! how exciting is that. i am so scared and excited that i dont know what to do with myself. im scared because the odds of a c section are high.. the dr today told me that i have an inverted pelvis and she may not fit through it. but no matter what we will have a baby either the 14th or 15th!

so allen will be come for 2 weeks leave here soon as well! i cant believe we are already half way through our 3rd deployment together. i cant wait to have him home with me and lorelei.